As often happens: a phone call from a strange woman. Someone has suggested she call me. That IΓÇÖm a photographer. That I pay my models. Sultry voice. Nineteen years old. M. M. comes into my studio wearing white socks and a tentative smile. We spend the morning looking for spiked high-heels in size ten. She is a big girl and hard to fit. For the next four Tuesdays she arrives in my studio and we play fantasy games in front of the camera. I imagine I could fall in love with her. I make her up. I imagine her in rubber so I put her in rubber. In menΓÇÖs white jockey shorts complete with a prosthetic penis. An actorΓÇÖs training--she is used to assuming roles. She wants to be a performance artist so she understands why the black penis I have her wear. She holds the cock head and at my bidding attempts to suck herself off.
She reminds me of a long-legged blonde named Libby whom I lived with twenty years ago. She was also nineteen and a submissive becoming a dominant. Over dinner M. M. asks me if a person has to be one or the other. I don't know the answer to that.
IΓÇÖve introduced several women/models to working in some of the many S&M houses in NYC. I bring up the possibility to M. M. The idea intrigues her, and I ask her why. She says she likes anything new (my kind of woman).
I noticed the first day she has long vagina lips. Longer than I have ever seen. Sometimes when I shoot her it appears she has a small penis. Of course that turns me on and she admits it used to confuse her.
M. M. is 5ΓÇÖ9ΓÇ¥ with orange blonde hair and light green eyes. A Virgo. In my mind I make her like rubber. I make her shave herself while I shot her. I make her masculine when she wears the black rubber penis. I make her up on film. I do know she is young. She is curious. She is beautiful.
Now sheΓÇÖs being flown to Germany to be photographed by a photographer who is doing a photo book on "powerful" women. Being shot by me and taken to fancy restaurants. Acquiring wigs and diamond rings. M. M. with the sultry eyes....
After four weeks she disappeared. She is somewhere in Manhattan but I donΓÇÖt know where.
